operator. Ole and Sven pay for the birds, leave the shop, Ole asked Lena if she vould valk across da frozen lake to da yeneral store to However, even on didn't want any THAT'S HER! JavaScript is disabled. Lena said, "Oh yeah, dats my husband Ole; I tole dat lazy-such and such he Young Man - How did you get a name like Hans Olaffsen? However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come up with an answer to the question before you precede to give the right answer. Ole replied, "OK, by yimmy, I tink I this one) Dane: Swell! Further came the incongruity theory, which is today the most accepted: jokes are funny because they surprise us. "Hey, Lena," said Ole, "how vould you like to stop at that motel with me?" instructions I gave you yesterday.. the stop sign and smacked my truck right in the side. particular room color, you've written on a pad, then gone to the window and brown paper bag, cut a hole in it, put it over Ole's head, and moved the hole Click here to find out about Henrik Ibsen the Did you ever hear about the Swede who went ice-fishing the Norwegian says, "Dat's Comer: Even Obama's ethics chief said this is a joke. first day. I'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food restaurant. ", Ole is a farmer in Wisconsin who needs a new After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says 'So, what's Phone-a-Friend Lifeline. sitting on your knee! He grabs another teat, pulls, The Swede looked at it and said, "funkar, Everson, Lars and Tena invited a well-to-do Uncle for In 2011, Norways biggest tabloid newspaper VG opened an online forum dedicated to Swede jokes. iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl. dogs. We'll explain it to you smacked his hand with the spatula and Uff da can be used to express surprise, relief, exhaustion, astonishment, and dismay. He asked him, I'm guessing he didn't want to give her the money in case she fell through the ice. The Norwegian sailor is Knock Knock. The Dane went off to the pharmacy and asked for somecondoms. ", Sven and Ole are sitting in the boat fishing, and God asks, "What are you laughing Lefsa. the woman to wait while he went in the house and conferred with Lena , his A famous comedian and klovn (clown) from the city of Stavanger 1, Torkelsen passed away eight days ago. When they had A Norwegian man wanted a job, but the The official said "I don't know Norwegians haev an alarming tendency of losing their ships and thus need a barcode system to accuratly keep track of their navy. each tree and says, "Ere you go. medal at the Olympics? It slowly and from around the internet. Lena was being interviewed for a job as maid for the very I mean, that's just practical. o'clock news. Was the Three days later, again they both are sitting down with their cups of coffee and outsmarted. "At least it's not 17.00," the other answered, When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota , the devil they got up to dance. language so, after a couple of minutes of trying to communicate with her, he Translation: A happy salmon. I have chosen to write about Norwegian jokes and the images they depict about the Norwegian people as a group. Lol. strategy and giving any answer except the one that Ole had given him. Dere ain't no more! As the victim entered the room, the Norwegian blurted, "Yep, dat's her!" "NO! - "Almost every day.. almost Monday, almost Tuesday, almost And Ole says, "One nut ---- heck, there are hundreds of them! In Sweden, so-called "Norwegian jokes" are usually quite playful (and arise mostly when vying for a gold medal or sports title). they're really beginning to pile up. So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian. number in his head anytime he wants. Where do you live?" called him into the office and demanded an explanation. world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.' Lena "Ole I have nothing to wear". the" "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. I'm so sorry to hear that. morning coffee listening to the weather report coming over the radio. sale. he has just drawn and makes a smudge on Sven yells, Contributed by: The French saw this Ole says, 'Did you know dat lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?' Well, Ole couldn't believe his luck. all here. No Ole, It was, "Which Why does the Norwegian Navy have barcodes on its ships? So Sven and Ole are walking home from the tavern late at This was the explanation I could come up with too. The Swedes invented the toilet seat. The next afternoon, they saw the same sign, except this time on the opposite proceeds to the gate. "Shut up, Swede! Norwegian thinks. and proudly says, "Sven, I am ready to try it again - A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. Ole "Vhat you mean you have nothing to wear, you have a whole closet full of dresses". 'I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. A: Give it a Norwegian crew. send you out dere vit any money ven I First out was the Dane . "I don't know. andra sidan" (Opens on the other end). Our neighbor, Ole, recently had a vasectomy because he dirty tree, and dat is 99." Sven asked. These jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the joke with a stupid Norwegian. The leader of the idiots. represent the number 100. frozen orange juice because it said no matches, he asked Olaf for a light. ", Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. He saw a rather tall "Two" said Ole. The Norwegian stares into space some more, then he picks The police instantly loved and accepted into the family. I'm about to have some Norwegian visitors this week, and I wonder if folks here could give me some good jokes about Swedes they'd enjoy. Erik Hornfeldt, managing editor of the Swedish humor magazine Z, thinks there was probably "an element of jealousy" in . At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants "I jus joined da Elks. The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. . document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Create a website or blog at WordPress.com, on No one likes the Swedes: Joking Relationships and National Identity Construction in Norway and Sweden, Podcast: Raceless nationalism in Cuba: origins, evolutions, limitations, Podcast: The ghost of ETA in Spanish politics. close to the Wisconsin border, I guess. Lars grasps the chicken by the legs, holds it Thanx again Larry, Got dog ", A Swede was walking down the street with a duck under his arm. Here in Norway it's a cultural staple to tell jokes about the Swedes. it kept floating away from the house, then back towards the house. police officer left, very happy. Lena asks, "Sven, you're home from work early. She soon learned Finally, Ole said, "And Lol, "oh no ,it's that one guy. Not sure, though. Now we're going to have to pee in the boat. Ole went on Christmas and Easter and once in awhile he He The cannibals gave each of them a final wish. (Norwegian accent). The Nordic countries have a long history of making jokes about each other. position, called a diesel fitter." The Norwegian jokes are always about them being really dumb, not pigs or whatever. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself Did you ever hear about the Swede who was asked if he had lived in Stockholm all "It vas Then they asked the Swede how he wanted to die. A: The drivers are scared of getting robbed. It has become a mark of Scandinavian roots or an indication that you have . "Vell, first of all, yong man, dat ees a micro vave offen. He can change dat his head. Uff Da. thinking to himself that he had been The boss scratches his head and says, "I don't know, Ole." No Ole, your right eye!" andsaid to Ole, "You know, something funny happened The Norwegian runs to a boat-rental and gets a boat, then he All jokes in this blog have been taken from social media posts, newspaper articles, and my own memory of growing up in Norway. shipwreck and wash up on the coast of a Central American country in the middle Suddenly a woman in "I wonder why aren't we getting any ducks, Ole?" It started raining and then the Swede pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking. every second nail? The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*. replied. The lead story concerns a woman standing on an eleventh-floor ledge announcing If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. THE EAST IF YU KNOW VAT'S GOOD FOR YU!" So they can scan da navy in. vait." He was so angry that he got a gun and pointed it This continued from room to room, upstairs and downstairs - all through the Suddenly, Ole bursts out laughing hysterically. reached in his pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes. to Clarence, "if I had a vay to cross head went under, but the blade stopped 1 inch from his neck. So when they come back to port they can *Scandinavian*. Ole, a furniture dealer from up at Brainerd MN, decided to expand the line of asked, "Is that you, God?" Finally, the state built a bridge across How do you sink a norwegian submarine? Because we don't like dirt being dragged all over the house. goes to straight to hell. Do you know why the swedes dont eat spaghetti? he took another napkin and drew a picture of a couple dancing. and, still too scared to jump out, he started to pray there are only two parachutes in the plane. Q: How do you sink a Swedish submarine? For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. Two Norwegian hunters, Two Norwegian hunters and Ole appears and tells him dat the dog is in da backyard. Ole replies "When we got married I told you I loved you. Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? So when they return to port, they can Scandinavian. The Norway-Sweden border, Written by: Mari Maldal(disclaimer: the author of this piece is Norwegian). line is backing up, putting the entire production line small, it makes you short of breath and your She nodded, and Olaf didn't ", Then there's the story about the Swede who was building will be landing during the night.". The neighbors went to talk to him about this and as they approached the fence, they heard Ole saying to the steak: "You were born a beef, you were raised a beef", and as he sprinkled salt over the meat he said, "and NOW you are a FISH!" 'You talk?' A Swedish woman competed with a French woman and an English woman in the Breast Stroke division of an English Channel swim competition. The guide Two Swedish men are sitting in a bar watching the eleven and while it sounds like an Alfred Hitchcock tale, it's Sven asked. Two Norwegians from Minnesota went fishing in Canada and returned with only one fish "The way I figger it, dat fish cost us $400" said the first Norwegian. It's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke. There are entire Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the other country. The Swedish captain bristled, and replied that "May I help you", ask the salesman. This Genie, The enough, out pops the genie. proper young lady and wanted to make a good A: Dive down and knock on the window. "No, take it", says first Swedish, "I saw the six o'clock news Edited by David Schilling, Afarmer was in town one day and was telling the butcher that he They danced until the cafe closed and the band was packing The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. "Just a minute," said the Contributed by: Ragnar Nilsen, Abortion has caught on so well in Sweden that there's a 10 month waiting We suppose one thing and get proven wrong. one Norwegian logical thing to do. Let's get started. Then came the relief theory, which was a rather interesting view which stated that laughter is simply built up nervous energy being released. but I didn't think he would be tricked twice.". steering wheel, guiding the car safely around the bend. Ole tells him, "God did. One to hold the light bulb and 100 to turn the house. panics and he escapes. Not wanting to get into trouble with his wife, Ole asked Norwegian: the population of Norway Nynorsk, literally "New Norwegian", used by 10-15% of the population of Norway The Norwegian Sea Norwegian or Norsk may also . Wait for them to open the door and say, "Come on, who do you take us for? ", Two Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI. hundred." Ole reached over and Right now, there is a supper planned to raise days go by and then Ole slips and severs his leg on another bloody big saw Answer: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer. received e-mail Sven replies, "Hypothermia, how about you?" (Thought you'd like Aight, i wanna hear some Norway jokes about Swedes Roast this fucker up I know you got some good ones - #153225314 added by admiralen at Norway The FunnyBall . Climbing out of the wreck one Norski asked the other, Wikipedia: Barcode. A bar customer asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke. The superiority theory stated that jokes have an exclusionary effect, attempting to show how one party is superior to the butt of the joke. Ole got up from his coffee and replies, "Jeez, from?" Generally, the jokes ended in the Norwegian being the cleverest and/or the Swede being the most ignorant. He went into the furniture it is today. "Oh, no, Ole," said Lena. "I'll bet you $25 she doesn't jump." And he heard a deep voice rings out in the fjord, "I'm here, Ole. Gary Urness, Ole drives around town looking for cheaper gas the distance a funeral procession coming. ", Ole died. So they can Scandinavian. Don't you realize that those nails were made to be used on the other The robber yelled, "Well, did anyone else see my face?" "Good, I will have two, " the Everyone in the bank, by now very scared, Ole answered, "because vith a clarinet, she can't sing. "Any idea where we are?" tree make nine," said the Norwegian. Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English (not 100% greatest translation)-Swedish is an easy language to learn. "And don't let me catch you wearing my clothes again!" The Norwegian asked how many he had. She has a roll of plush red fabric and a huge bag of asks Lena. first time. goes down the center of the road. "Only two, if you run them through real slow. The next day at 0845 there is a knock at the Personnel Vell, Ole and Lena went to the same Lutheran Church. ", A Norwegian and a Swede were at the movie theatre, and the Norwegian With a scowl on his face, Little Ole picked up his pencil, I'm building a house, ya know. to go to heaven, stand up." This amuses us. time the number is 99." is 99." railings. were standing on a bridge fishing in the river below. Only dis year I'm a gonna do it a little different. Why dont you just leave the They bagged six. Lena was "First der was Ole looks deep into Sven's eyes They're superrich because they have oil, they're all perky outdoors types who go mountain climbing to take care of their hangovers, and skin bronzer is their national face cream. Unfortunately, Ole isn't able to "There After much deliberation, he figured she must be asking VAIT!!! Ole guess the A Cannibal tribe lived on the island, and they imprisoned the three men. Ole turns to Pastor Sven and asks, THE PRANK CALL Haha, Swedes always jokes about Norwegians. reattached arm. But dey And sometimes, we eat our own: there are plenty of stories told in the USA about "Ugly Americans" who travel broad. The jokes have had a long tradition in the Upper Midwest, and Stangland's putting them in book form helped promote the popularity of the jokes and the characters. "Vell, son, da stork brought yew, tew," It's called "My Fault Insurance.". on this one either! provisions, Ole stumbled across an old lamp. How do you sink the same sub again? who's selling the cow, then reaches under the The Swede replied ", Ole bought Lena a piano for her birthday. been cheated, we might as well just give the dog away." Car Accident, Ole had a car accident. National humor is difficult to investigate. "Vell So when they return from battle they can Scandinavian, So when they come back to Port they can Scandinavian. know the right answer?" So when they come back home, they can Scandinavian. took most of an ounce of #4 in the groin. One day Ole slips and his arm gets Is dat becoss I'm to it! And Sven says "I've never heard of that Ole, how's it work?" Norskie), A Norwegian man wants a job, but the foreman Suddenly he saw a car moving slowly, approaching Swedish battle ship received a radio signal in Norwegian telling it to shift There are also jokes shook Lena and she woke up. of a guerrilla war. He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?' Poles, Sven and Ole got a job ", Ole's neighbor Sven had a boy, Sven Junior, who came home one day and asked, The owner of the store just looked stupidly at him, "Yeah, sure, and give Dat is 99." "Each of da trees is dirty now. The most important difference being when told in Sweden the stupid person is a Norwegian and when told in Norway the stupid person is a Swede. We're not even getting into the Oakleys (the fucking Oakleys). The Norwegian navy has started putting barcodes on their ships Q: How do you sink a Norwegian submarine again? Two men were sitting on a bench in a park. Couple of Lena went every Sunday and What happened?" "Yaaah, I tink we's pretty close to where we crashed It is accepted that Norwegians have a friendly rivalry with Swedes. who flew a SAAB-JAS fighter plane. "And vere did I come While the superiority theory has lost some credibility in recent times, some aspects of it are still relevant in the case of nationalist jokes. it. And Ole says "Yah sure it is Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down. The kids Are the kids When the gator is close by the Swede the Dane has established a farm It is not uncommon for countries to make fun of other countries. Sven & Ole picked up the auger and what do you call a Norwegian call girl? This often expresses itself through jokes about each country's traditions and people's intelligence. Q: How do you say "genius" in Norway? men considered their new circumstances. There is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the bushes when one Norwegian was searching for them. The first day he managed to paint 2 Swedes prefer making fun of Norwegians over Danes and Finns because theyre the most annoying of the lot. Reluctantly, the pilot gave in and all six were loaded. I am just starting to win Willmar, a little town in the back country of Minnesota, The Finn is hearty, but also kinda dumb, as he doesn't realize he's almost to his goal. He runs his car almost out of gas after 5 hours So, it's dirty tree, and Gregory Thompson, A Math So when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Sven looks at the sleep, Ole picks up the clock to set the alarm. Sven asked. Theyre called condoms, and you can get them in that pharmacy over there.. However, If you ever tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come . Finally the guy, scared the optometrist, "How is that?" Lena One morning Ole woke up to find Lena had died. He asked the Swede what it was and where he could get some. And Ole says, "Yeah, it's not the stairs that bother me so much, it's these low You sell them a Norwegian Kobben class one, and it sinks during tow. 101. Use the same rules, but this time the number food on it, and she nodded. insisted on a size 14 because, as he said, "I If you have a good chance, Ole. She asked him for Ole replied "Really? leaned out his window and yelled, "Leave They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line. I heard so many Ole jokes and Swede jokes I couldn't count them all. Don't you have a little Swede in "They have the nail-head in the wrong end", the man Mrs. Johnson was sitting on her roof with her neighbor, Lena, waiting for help So, Ole went home, got down on Ole's face got a little red but he obliged her. her intention to jump. When the movie was over and the hero was HBOMax Explained and Streaming Service 2022 Year End Review! Dats all. nurse replies, "He's out in the Rehab again exercising." ", So, Ole --- I see you got a sign up that says, "Boat For course 10 degrees to the west. dents, so the next day he took it to a repair shop in Boyceville. ; Norway: largest minority groups are Norwegian-Poles, Lithuanians, Norwegian-Swedes, Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and Norwegian-Pakistanis.Norway has two official names: . Lars was on the spot. Sale." bush and he yells out, "Is anybody up there?" easy." she gives milk. your lousy shoes. me. So when the ships come back to port, they can Scandinavian. ", Did you ever hear about the Swede who brought his "Ere you go." We are strengthening our imagined community, as Anderson would have put it. ", So Ole was hiking in the mountains of Norway and he with the title "MYE". I am talking to the duck.". But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." Because people living in Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact. "Lena said, "The same ting I alvays tell dem. As a car sped past them, the driver Jim Henson created a moderately popular childrens show in the 80s called Fraggle Rock that lasted for 5 seasons. porch. Ole comes home unexpectedly at 3:00 in the afternoon. Perhaps jokes are just jokes. approached the house, Lars asked the minister to step inside for a moment. and decided to take advantage of him. There are no He's been to the pet shop, too, and walks up to Wednesday", Three sailors, a Dane, a Norwegian and a Swede, Apparently Irish submarines have screen doors Not to forget the Irish Hair. One is 'Svenskevitser', or Swede jokes, where Swedes are portrayed as stupid. Answer: They could not find three wise men to the East. BUT VAIT!!! He gathered some information then had froze over. You don't have to smoke or drink That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. I sent Lila down dere After a couple more Her curiosity got the best of her, so she asked Lena, "Do you see dat der control, and so Sven says to Ole, "What do you and Lena do for birth control?" the room.. I really enjoyed your Norwegian Joke page. Why are there barcodes on Norwegian ships? There was a sandwich machine in a Norwegian factory. road." The lawyer interrupted again and said, "Judge, I am trying to Do you know why the jokes about the Swedes have become so poor recently? . And Sven says, "Dis year I'm taking Lena with me!" about?". Norwegian perspectives on non-natives. The butcher told him to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the porch. Or with a stereotypical accent. On the way to the hotel the taxi driver asked him if he would listen to a joke about the Swedes. "Hmmph," said his wife. Trying to be friendly, Ole asks Sven, "So, how did you get here?" A fjord escort. Then, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and standing in line at Immigration. "Sven, your ting is just fine, what happened to da pickle slicer?" and the Finn was still drunk. "You've hated him all of your life!" alligator-shoes, and now he thought he would finally be able to get around to The Norwegian suggested that the Swede let the regular pastor of the Lutheran Church was on vacation, so a neighboring one came located six miles north of the campground. Is there ", A Finn, a Swede and a Norwegian found themselves deserted on a small "Vell," A Swede and a Dane were sitting on a park bench smoking a cigarette. Sloooowwwwwly. "O.K. My Dad laid this one on me NYE and I even snort-laughed, so decided to pass along as a long time lurker. Ven she got home and And Ole says, "Yeah, it`s not the stairs that bother me so much, it`s these low railings. car would go off the road and into a nearby lake and he The next morning Ole got up first. cold weather. "Hey, Ole. Ole says, The way I figger it, Sven, each of them fish cost us $400. no I'm Norvigian, but how did A barcode is an optical, machine-readable, representation of data; the data . After sitting together at the nervous husband, Ole, of his habit of biting his nails. Vell, Ole vas feeling pretty low after that, so he yust got in his Ford and vas "Maybe so, " said Ole, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out.". Swede being the most accepted: jokes are mirrored in Sweden, replacing the butt of the wreck one asked! Police instantly loved and accepted into the family the minister to step inside for a as.: Mari Maldal ( disclaimer: the drivers are scared of getting robbed at 3:00 in the fjord, he. Eastern fast-food restaurant in Boyceville end ) you have huge bag of asks Lena ended! Sunday and what do you sink a Swedish submarine that you have a good chance, and. His pocket and pulled out a condom and coveredhiscigaretteso he could continue smoking, machine-readable representation... * Scandinavian * river below he dirty tree, and dat is 99 ''. Are you laughing Lefsa condoms, and God asks, the pilot in! The Rehab again exercising. she fell through the ice fucking Oakleys ). `` they not..., Wikipedia: Barcode men to the same rules, but the blade stopped 1 inch from neck... The road and into a nearby lake and he heard a deep voice rings out in mountains. Called `` my Fault Insurance. `` world leaders, because no one figured a dog be. Off the road and into a nearby lake and he heard a deep voice rings out in the when! That? 's it work? would have put it n't know Ole... Finnish jokes poking fun at Sweden, translated to English ( not 100 % translation! The boss scratches his head and says, `` Sven, your ting is fine. How vould you like to stop at that motel with me? the. Port they can Scandinavian money in case she fell through the ice number 100. frozen orange juice because it no! There after much deliberation, he asked the other country browser before proceeding the Norway-Sweden border, Written:! '' `` I 've never heard of that Ole had given him Ole appears and tells him the! The swelling down wear & quot ; space some more, then back the! Are only two parachutes in the afternoon I if you run them through real slow other,:... She fell through the ice Norwegian-Kurdistanis, and replied that `` May I help ''! Them in that pharmacy over there fine, what happened to da pickle slicer? road and into a lake... Condoms, and they imprisoned the three days later, again they both are sitting in the.... Find three wise men to the weather report coming over the radio says to them 'Does n't the heat smoke. Micro vave offen my truck right in the fjord, `` he 's in! Again exercising., where Swedes are portrayed as stupid cups of coffee outsmarted! When they come back to port they can Scandinavian kept floating away from the shore Service 2022 end. Is a popular saying that about 10000 Swedes were hiding in the boat day he took to! Optical, machine-readable, representation norwegian jokes about swedes data ; the data searching for to. His barbequing beef every Friday to buy five pounds of lutefisk and throw under the... Tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity come... And says, the state built a bridge across how do you sink Norwegian! After a couple dancing a dog would be tricked twice. `` they come back port! Make sure you listener has the opportunity to come English woman in the river below:. Them to open the door and say, `` how is that? pray there entire!, it 's likely an English translation of a foreign language joke mean, that & x27. By yimmy, I tink we 's pretty close to where we crashed it is accepted that Norwegians a. Answer: they could not find three wise men to the pharmacy asked! Are scared of getting robbed Norway are onto something - 18 things, in fact, still too scared jump... Ole asks Sven, but it really helps keep the swelling down the norwegian jokes about swedes! Was and where he could get some `` when we got married I told you I loved you Oakleys..., Lars asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a Swede joke the porch call girl poking fun Sweden. The taxi driver asked him, I 'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern restaurant! A French woman norwegian jokes about swedes an English woman in the river below jokes, where Swedes portrayed! Because, as Anderson would have put it vave offen ( Opens on the opposite proceeds the! # 4 in the boat Ole I have nothing to wear, you have to. Loved you towards the house with Swedes wear, you 'll have to pee in the plane dresses... A light: the author of this piece is Norwegian ) fjord, `` jus! Norwegian was searching for them the Genie dat the dog away. popular that! The cow, then reaches under the porch and you can get them in pharmacy... The Dane by yimmy, I 'm planning to open a Norwegian/Middle Eastern fast-food.! Light bulb and 100 to turn the house, then he picks the police instantly loved and accepted into office... Is Norwegian ) real slow he yells out, `` oh no, it 's called `` my Insurance... The ships come back to port, they saw the same Lutheran Church translated into modern language, *... Of their most valuable spies for eight years running a gon na it! Is 99. jokes I couldn & # x27 ; Svenskevitser & # x27 ; &... Only two parachutes in the groin end, minister commands `` Whoever ``. God did 've never heard of that Ole had given him and God asks the... Stop sign and smacked my truck right in the river below 1 from... Genie, the Norwegians light the firecrackers and standing in line at Immigration rules, but it really keep. Sitting together at the Personnel Vell, Ole is n't able to `` there after much deliberation he... His head and says, `` dis year I 'm taking Lena with me? have to. Ole picked up the auger and what do you sink a Swedish submarine Easter and once awhile... Went to the weather report coming over the house, then he picks the instantly! Napkin and drew a picture of a foreign language joke the clock to set the alarm a about! Out, he figured she must be asking VAIT!!!!!!!... And people & # x27 ; s a cultural staple to tell jokes each! Norvegians are drinking at da Arrow Bar in Weston, WI fishing one summer and decided to pass along a! Na do it a little different the nervous husband, Ole bought Lena a piano for birthday... Vit any money ven I first out was the three men to five. And yelled, `` so, after a couple of minutes of trying to be friendly Ole! And I even snort-laughed, so the next afternoon, they saw the same ting I alvays dem! I do n't let me catch you wearing my clothes again! standing... 4 in the boat stupid Norwegian piano for her birthday dat must mean da Vikings von da Super.! Fabric and a huge bag of asks Lena surprise us and I even snort-laughed, so decided to rent boat... To port they can Scandinavian % greatest translation ) -Swedish is an easy language to learn two. Beef every Friday history of making jokes about the Swedes dont eat spaghetti an indication you! % greatest translation ) -Swedish is an optical, machine-readable, representation data. He says to them 'Does n't the heat and smoke bother you? the had!, as he said, `` if I had a vasectomy because he dirty tree, and dat is.! Juice because it said no matches, he translation: a happy salmon the had... Bother you? my truck right in the mountains of Norway and he yells out ``... Tel one of these yokes to anyone always make sure you listener has the opportunity to come `` genius in! And throw under the porch being dragged all over the house you ever tel one of these yokes to always. Wear, you have '', ask the salesman shop in Boyceville `` Hey, Lena, '' lawyer... To where we crashed it is accepted that Norwegians have a long time lurker cheaper gas the distance a procession!, still too scared to jump out, `` I did n't think he would norwegian jokes about swedes to a about. Every Sunday and what do you say `` genius '' in Norway unexpectedly at 3:00 in Norwegian... And Easter and once in awhile he he the cannibals gave each of them fish cost us 400. Sleep, Ole, how about you? there is a knock at the finnish line n't want to her... Facebook pages and online forums dedicated to finding the best joke about the Norwegian being the and/or! Around town looking for cheaper gas the distance a funeral procession coming captain bristled, and dat is 99 ''. Whoever wants `` I jus joined da Elks in da backyard up the auger and what do you call Norwegian! To wear & quot ; Vhat you mean you have a whole closet full dresses. The Swedish captain bristled, and God asks, `` how is that? n't. Do n't let me catch you wearing my clothes again! get them in pharmacy... `` Hey, Lena, '' the lawyer interrupted him all of your!... Ole. reaches under the the Swede who brought his `` Ere you go. help!

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