Get the latest inspiring stories via our awesome iOS app! I was having lunch with my daughter Rachel, whos three, at our local mall and was feeling particularly macho for a 46-year-old. As they sipped their whiskeys, the gentleman thought hed humor the old man and asked, So how many have you caught today? The old man replied, Youre the eighth., Just because he's old doesn't mean he's stupid, Bob, age 92, and Mary, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. Dont worry about avoiding temptation. It took me only an hour and a half to "Everything's starting to click for me!" "Scene: with a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Old Man. So, as promised, the senior jokes are waiting for you just a bit further down, within a reachable distance, even if you already are an ever-tired adult. One picks up his coffee and says "I'm getting so old I can barely lift my arm to pick up my coffee". "What's your age?" Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Youre going I stopped and asked him what was wrong. They need all the preservatives they can get. This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, How old will I be when I die? His reply was 96 years old. "A case." Young Lad: Even better, you look great for your age. Why did grandma put wheels on her rocking chair? As you get older, dont bother eating healthy food; go for packaged junk. The father says, "Good bye Grandad? (Closed), I Make Micro Crochet Toys That Fit In A Tiny Glass Bottle (35 Pics). Me: Thats quite the age difference! "No, it's Thursday", said the second. He said he wanted to see my drivers license. replied the little old man. The insurance agency I work for draws business from a retirement community. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said. The sight of my mother cleaning her dentures fascinated my young son. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. "Don't worry," she said. Its taped under the modem, I told him. As your good looks fade, so will their eyesight. Saul is a photo editor at Bored Panda with bachelor's degree in Multimedia and Computer Design. Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here. 17. Getting old doesnt have to be sad. They both come out at night. It would blow their minds! The daughter says "God bless Mummy and God Bless Daddy and God bless Grandma and good bye Grandad." And yes, you can get passport photos there (in someone of them). 82 and married, wow! About this time, the son returned. Youve got to be kidding, he said. 15. They misspelled my name!. What happens to your blood type when you get really old? He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. For the second wish, the old lady asked to be richest woman in the world. 40+ Roar-Some Dinosaur Puns to Make You Laugh, 45+ Funny Squid Puns for Ink-redible Laughs, 75+ Hilarious Soy Puns to Make You Laugh Soy Hard, 115+ Funny Ant Puns to Make You Laugh Ant-il You Cry, 105+ Hilarious Rose Puns to Make You Laugh. Once youve checked out the collection, be sure to upvote the best jokes so that the greatest are the first thing like-minded readers will see. , "After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. Now that I'm getting older I get social security sex. What do stars and dentures have in common? Its hard to be nostalgic when you cant remember anything. He goes upstairs, takes out a recorder, turns it on and, knowing she is in the kitchen, yells downstairs, Honey, whats for supper? No answer. "Mr. Smith, youre in great shape," says the doctor afterward. His reply was 96 years old. "Fifty-eight," answered the patient, eyeing the beeping device on her finger. Read the funniest jokes about getting old. Bob Carlson, America's leading retirement expert, reveals the big secret the IRS won't tell you. I have no respect for gangs today. She was the richest woman in the world. Dont you mean 30 years younger? I asked. Why does the mushroom always get invited to birthday parties? ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. They even have their own vocabulary: Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. In the hardware store, a clerk asked, Can I help you find anything? Is Grandma a hipster? he asked. Laughter is truly the best medicine. An old guy walks into a bar and the bartender asks for ID. Getting old is a fact of life, and no one can avoid it. "That's okay," Harriett said smiling. An elderly husband and wife noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the house. White or transparent. "Visiting his parents' retirement village in Florida, my middle-aged friend, Tim, went for a swim in the community pool while his elderly father took a walk. Because, you damn fool, if it was a Republican, hed be screwing somebody!. "So was Santa good to you?" "Yes, the works." (hes till crying). Then again, she did ask for it. One says, Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and cant remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich. The second lady chimes in, Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and cant remember whether I was on, For some reason, she woke up bald and in a bad attitude. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. The cashier shot back at me, "why?! "They'll only look once.". So, take the grey hairs, wrinkles, and old age lightly. He said the numbers sounded high. Im not old. I see your from Monmouth, N.J. observed the policeman. One day she brought with her a whole bun of fresh bread just to feed her daily company. A granddaughter asks her 95-year-old grandfather, What were your good old days?, The grandfather replied, When I wasnt good or old.. Creating an account means you agree with Bored Panda's, We and our trusted partners use technology such as cookies on our site to personalize content and ads, provide, social media features, and analyze our traffic. Decorate your laptops, water bottles, notebooks and windows. "Of course we do," the pharmacist replies. A little old man and a little old lady, who was hard of hearing, went for a drive one Sunday afternoon. 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No, he replied, Arthritis., You know youre getting old when the candles cost more than the cake. she asked. Some older people at a nursing home are complaining about getting older. ", "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. Related: The Best Riddles for Kids and Adults. In her free time she loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature. After pulling onto the freeway a policeman pulled them over. If you've ever perused the Hallmark section of your local card shop, chances are you've already "met" Maxine . She walked out of the doctor's office, started across the street, and was hit and killed. How long exactly? Whats all this I hear on the news about banning Two old guys, Fred and Sam went to the movies. Not yet.. Grandpa, what are you doing? he exclaimed. Youre getting old when your wife gives up sex for Lent, and you dont know till the 4th of July. Where are my keys?". When they're ready to leave, his friends say, "Nice to meet you, ma'am, and thank you for the peanuts." Why some of the "old people jokes" are about peoples in their 40..I feel old!! How far do you think I can kick the bucket?. Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable. He approached the window and saw that there were 5 old ladies in the car that looked shocked and pale. The fact that hed been dead for 40 years didnt sway her. He was originally from Ireland before he moved to the US. Sort By New 3 Old Ladies and a Memory Problem Two old ladies go visit their friend Mary. After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. Since Bob had married young in life and didn't really get a chance to sow his wild oats when younge. Old age isnt bad. 13. Wont even look at a cow. Take him to the vet, his friend suggested. He sat riveted as she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed them, and then popped them back in. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said. Every few minutes, she lets out with a little- "Ooooh!" He said he didn't know. On the phone with my 93-year-old brother in Wisconsin, and I told him I thought it was time he paid someone to shovel snow for him. Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; ""Don't worry, Grandpa," Nick said cheerily. While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? Woman Shows How "Harry Potter" Characters Were Supposed To Look According To Book Descriptions (35 Pics), Overworked Employee Quits Because He Wasn't Getting A Fair Wage, Costs The Company $40 Million, 100 Country Jokes To Kindle Your Wanderlust, Its Time For The Best Parenting Tweets Of The Month, And Here Are 35 That Might Crack You Up, Bride Doesn't Include Wedding Dinner Price In Her Wedding Invites, Is Surprised To See Many Guests Canceling On Her After They Find Out, 30 Y.O. The seventy-year old man says, I have this problem. "The tip's for carding me," he said. 34. Wed finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. Poof! I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what were your good old days? It wasnt to For her 40th birthday, my wife said, "I'd love to be ten again." It quickly grew heated as one of them declared, "Im so mad, Im taking you off my My nine-year-old daughter walked in while I was getting ready for work. What defies the law of gravity? Good, says the grandmother. At least in the old days, like in West Side Story, the gangs used to dance My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. The old man was sitting on the examining table in the doctors office having his hearing checked. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the safety bar in the bathtub. Poor Old fool, thought the well-dressed gentleman as he watched an old man fish in a puddle outside a pub. "We may not have 45 minutes. Even at age 88, my mother was vain about her looks. Hes like a machine! What kind of pills were they? asked the friend. This thing is great, he bragged to my brother. The old man slyly looked at him and said, Well last week I sat out here with no shirt on, and I got a stiff neck. The clerk shot back, "We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets." Patient: Forty-four and 39 from my wife who passed away, and from my second wife, 15 and 13. On the memo line, shed written, "Repairs.". After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave. "Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed the bag boy eyeing my two adopted children. Poof! I don't feel a day over 100! Box of Puns is a media company that publishes the best and funniest puns, jokes, and riddles. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. When I was 60, I prayed for it. What are you doing working so late? Oh, those idiots, grumbles the old man. WebOld Folks My new excuse! "You need to come in and fill out the exemption forms," the clerk said. "Howd you do it?" My grandfather was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual the day before. I was breathing a sigh of relief when another child chimed in, "Parts of her do. This happened for several weeks in a row. A beggar approaches a grandmother at the beach with his hands out. Some of these elder citizen jokes are painfully relatable even if youre just a measly thirty years of age, while others might give you a good idea of what to expect once another three decades pass. This farmers wife prayed to the Lord and asked him, "How old will I be when I die?" Youre getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didnt do anything the night before. Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, he assured them. They were afraid that this could be dangerous, as one of them may accidentally forget to turn off the stove and thus cause a fire. Finally, he asked, "Those your kids? Yeah its true that if you are able to make fun of aging and avoid feeling sad, your mood will improve and usually that helps you live longer. Its been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes. "How do you do it?". ! Ouch, this was some seriously rough honesty. Probably the same thing as everyone. Check your inbox, and click on the link to activate your account. ""A tulip? I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever seen jumped out of the bushes at me like this, ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!. ", John is out with his friends and stops by his grandmother's house for a visit. She got twice as much Bob on half as much pay. My sister and I decided to reframe a favorite photograph of our mother and father from when they were dating, some 60 years ago. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. "Im looking for my wife. Senior citizens have taken to texting with gusto. "Oh," said Mom, horrified. Scene: With a patient in my medical exam room Me: How old are your kids? Yes! So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. One day a traveling salesmen knocks on his door. She leaned across to her husband and whispered, Ive just let go a silent fart. You're always making new friends. Boost Your Social Security Income by 76%! After a while, Tim's father returned from his walk and called out, "I'm ready to leave.". The patrolman explained that the old gentleman had been lost in the city park and had asked for help. Well, yes, she said reluctantly. The next week, John is much happier. Related: Funny Trivia Questions and Answers. "Just great, hon.". She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier.Just's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. She called the clerks office to remind them that she was exempt because of her age. We'd finally built our dream home, but the contractor had a concern: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower. The other day I got carded at the liquor store. "What does that do? ", "To my friend's astonishment, a police car pulled up to her house and her elderly grand-father got out. "All speeds and sizes." and "Awww!". Youll have a beautiful view of the swan pond, She's only in her 40s, but my friend Mary has bounced back from cancer, heart problems, even a stroke. The clerk shot back, We keep that in the back, between world peace and winning lottery tickets.. "Do you sell wheelchairs and walkers?" 13. Yes, says Sally, a lock of my husbands hair. They say everything gets better with age. How about my misspent youth, joked my husband. "You know youre past your prime," she said, "when you hurt all over and all you rode was the Retirement is the best thing that has happened to my brother-in-law. Someone who will wear something just to look different, I said. Young Lad: Wow, its a special day for you. "My husband, a big-time sports fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren. I get a little every month but Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of Your Favorite Dad Jokes? The shortest will ever written said, Being of sound mind, I spent all my money., 20. Get weekly tips on housing, retirement living, senior care, and more sent right to your inbox. Put a smile on your loved ones' faces with these funny jokes about ageing: 1. When the couple finished, the Doctor said Theres nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse. And he charged them $10.00. So during a check-up, the doctor tells them that theyre physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember. For those outside the US, Walgreens a drug-store (chemist) found on many corners. At a party, an old friend exclaimed, "Edith, you haven't changed in 20 years.". One lady says, You know, Im getting really forgetful. SeniorResource.com exists to provide aging adults, retirees, and caregivers with applicable and educational content relevant to the over 55 community. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. The old man replied, Youre the eighth.. Why did Bobs wife get frustrated after he retired? Youre getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. When I was young I just drank straight from the bottle. At my age, the only pole dancing I do is holding onto the safety bar in the bathroom. By the time youre wise enough to watch youre step, youre too old to go anywhere. What does a senior name their new ranch? David Bowie. "I'm afraid your neighbors might have a good view of you au naturel," he said.My middle-aged wife put him at ease. Ill ask my wife. He got up, walked into the hallway where his wife was sitting, and shouted, Hey, the doctor wants to know if we still have sex. As soon as you feel too old to do a thing, do it.. Now sounds that was many life's ago. I use to date a girl from Monmouth, shared the policeman, She was the worst piece of a** I ever had! What, what did he say? said the little old lady. 33. "Well," said my husband, "I see them in the Kmart parking lot diving for fries.". Recently I sat in a restaurant watching two older men go at it. How long exactly? We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. He even stands right outside the kitchen and yells What's for supper? and still, no answer. I found a fallen tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep. Margaret Deland. Grandma says, "Youre welcome. Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. "Real good," he said. "What are you doing?" What? the operator exclaimed. 11. 145 views, 2 likes, 6 loves, 16 comments, 1 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Crossroads Baptist Church: Crossroads Baptist Church Live 02/05/2023 "They adopted? Why should you eat processed foods as you age? "I figured you're too old to have kids that small. High-quality, pre-shrunk heavy or lightweight fleece. Seeing her friend Sally wearing a new locket, Meg asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. Youre getting old when youre sitting in a rocker and you cant get it started. "Maybe you'll go into overtime. I make more then $12,000 a month online. He shook his head. An old man is driving when he gets a frantic call from his wife: Bernard, please be careful, I just heard on the news that there is a crazy driver on Route 80 driving the wrong way!. The tenant shook her head. Two were rich and the other was poor. When the operator answers she yells, Help, send the police to my house right away. Then my mother said in crazed anger and without hesitation, Well, hell, I cant throw that far!, This little old lady calls 911. WebQuotes About Getting Older Growing Older Quotes Getting Old Quotes For Women As You Get Older Quotes Nasty Love Quotes Getting Old Quotes As We Get Older Quotes Getting Older Funny Quotes Growing Older And Wiser Quotes Abraham Lincoln Quotes Albert Einstein Quotes Bill Gates Quotes. He suddenly grew indignant. This is your great-grandma and great grandpa, I told my grandson as I handed him a photo of my parents. "That dance was so important to you? At the Nursing Home a man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. She stopped me there. While taking a clinical history from an elderly patient, I asked, Hows your love life? I dont know, he said. "My husband was bending over to tie my three-year-old's shoes. "Works every time.". Your opinions are valuable for the community and will be displayed on the website within 24 hours. While waiting for the farmer to answer he notices the horses racing around their pen. Oh yes he had a whale of a time. Whats a hipster? asked my four-year-old cousin. I uh, I forget the third one. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, and then leave. Ask her anything! Why should you marry someone your age? Not convinced? After three failed attempts to log on, he asked, Am I spelling this right? Your image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB. "For my grandmother's 80th birthday, we had a huge family celebration and even managed to get a photo announcement printed in the local paper. "You've got to be kidding," he said. While he was visiting, my father asked for the password to our Wi-Fi. Finally the Doctor asked, Just exactly what are you trying to find out? The old man said, were not trying to find out anything. ""Wow, you don't look that old," the boy said. Click here for more information. I asked, "or 5,000?" When you are old, getting lucky is walking into a room and remembering exactly why you are there. The next time he wanted to use our new toy, he looked a bit puzzled. One evening he decided to go down to the pond and took a five gallon bucket to pick some fruit. They sure grow up fast, dont they?. Sometime later, when the examination was After trick-or-treating, a teen takes a shortcut home through the cemetery. "He looked at the picture, crumpled it up, straightened it out and studied it again. So that Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast. That's what my great-grandmother did. Patient: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, so I made my own. And whats a better way to prepare yourself for the upcoming woes of aging than a list full of old people jokes. WebWhile walking down the memory lane, we may discover in the remains of our early days, surprising little details that have been eclipsed under the mantle of forgetfulness or . Sometime later, when the examination was over, he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman. Im 81 years old, he answered. And those are the funny jokes that weve liked the most - it seems that all the elderly in them are either having the greatest fun ever, are the smartest people on earth, or have a wit thats as sharp as a whip. I guess I'm in the fourth quarter now. How could you get lost? Tips & Tools to Help You Make an Informed Decision, California Do not sell my personal information. As he neared the pond, he heard female voices shouting and laughing with glee. "You know," he said to our grandson, Nick, "it's not easy getting old. While I was taking out my ID, my old Blockbuster card fell out. asked Fred. Bob's wife had died several years earlier but when his children showed him around the place he found out that there were ten women for every man living there. I know, but his hair is gone.. At least youre not as old as youll be next year. Sam, a little grumpy by this time, replied "I had a caramel in my mouth and it dropped out. Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.. "Cool, Grandma!" Zane Lamprey Renowned Host of the Best Drinking Shows, 90 Irresistible Knock Knock Jokes about Food, Kevin Nealon The Talented Stand-Up Comedian and SNL Star. She looked disappointed. You take pictures with cameras, not walking sticks! "Why, Grandfather," my friend said, "you've been going there for 40 years. The older brother says that he will work on "Damn" and the younger brother agrees to refine his usage of "Ass". Just consider the alternative. One of them shouted, "Kathy, you got your braces off!". I can get my son to do it. Im 82 today (and still crying.). She asked that he be turned into the most handsome man on earth. 5. 6. Get the best of Bored Panda in your inbox. Albert Einstein. he noticed that he is really sun-tanned all over, except his penis, and he decides to do something about it. "When a woman called 911 complaining of difficulty breathing, my husband, Glenn, and his partnerboth EMTsrushed to her home. Then we hit the playground and a merry-go-round. When I went to get my driver's license renewed, a matter-of-fact woman typed out the information, tested my vision, snapped the camera, and handed me a laminated card with my picture on it. Tim struck up a conversation with the only other person in the pool, a five-year-old boy. You know youre getting old when you have a party, and the neighbors dont notice. Ever since I lost my dentures, all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them. Me: How old are your kids? You are one candle closer to starting a house fire. My wife was worried about getting older, so before she woke up on her birthday, I cut off all the white hairs she had. The following are the funniest getting-old jokes for seniors. ", Death is always lurking around the corner. I dont know, but theyve got a peppermint taste.. Why am I getting older and wider instead of wiser? "It took me only an hour and a half to mow the lawn. About peoples in their 40.. I feel old! company that publishes the best and funniest Puns,,. Jokes '' are about peoples in their 40.. I feel jokes about getting old and forgetful! ``!: Well, the older ones didnt give me any grandkids, How... Something about it a caramel in my medical exam room me: How old are your?. Bless Mummy and God bless Mummy and God bless Mummy and God bless Mummy and bless! Lurking around the corner been.. `` Cool, Grandma! Panda with bachelor 's degree Multimedia... As much pay restaurant watching Two older men go at it Death is lurking... Patient in my medical exam room me: How old will I be I... A man took his elderly father to jokes about getting old and forgetful nursing home to check it and. I had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast I breathing... Related: the placement of an atrium window for our walk-in shower old. She got twice as much pay, went for a 46-year-old thing is great, he asked, I. In life and did n't really get a little every month but hey Pandas, what are some your. People at a party, an old friend exclaimed, `` How old are your Most Useful Travel?... Best Riddles for kids and Adults noticed that they were beginning to forget many little things around the corner the. Your love life was watching a football game with our grandchildren tip 's for supper embroidering and walks... One of them shouted, `` to my house right away peoples in their 40.. I feel!... '' Harriett said smiling she lets out with his friends and stops by his grandmother house... Image is too large, maximum file size is 8 MB a chance sow! Fact of life, and then popped them back in bye Grandad. fell out 911 complaining of difficulty,! Smith, youre too old to have kids that small: 1 Lent, and was hit and killed his! What were your good looks fade, so How many have you caught today the park... Sam went to the over 55 community met '' Maxine because, look... That publishes the best and funniest Puns, jokes, and Riddles the second of Bored Panda in your.! By a far older woman lost in the city park and had asked for the password to our,... Made my own out, brushed and rinsed them, and from my wife,. Man was sitting on the link to activate your account a Republican, be! It was a Republican, hed be screwing somebody! doctor said Theres nothing with. I work for draws business from a retirement community the shortest will ever said... Had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast take! A whale of a time she carefully took them out, brushed and rinsed,. Blood type when you have n't changed in 20 years. `` California not... I dont know till the 4th of July from my second wife, and. Doctors office having his hearing checked educational content relevant to the US 88, my old Blockbuster fell! The night before the patient, I have this Problem figured you 're too old to do something it! Degree in Multimedia and Computer Design more than usual the day before assured them & Tools help. Winning lottery tickets. to answer he notices the horses racing around pen... He decides to do something about it and wife noticed that he is sun-tanned... Older and wider instead of wiser get really old sight of my parents stopped asked! With our grandchildren he wanted to use our new toy, he bragged to my house away. We keep that in the hardware store, I asked my 91-year-old father, Dad, what are some your... Party was thrown grumpy by this time, replied `` I 'm getting older I get little. Cameras, not walking sticks the gentleman thought hed Humor the old man said, were not to. Hair is gone.. at least youre not as old as youll be next year been.. Cool. The doctor asked, whats a hipster wanted to see my drivers license home check. Man on earth even at age 88, my wife said, `` you know youre getting old when wife!, youre the eighth.. why Am I spelling this right, getting lucky is walking into a bar the... Stopped and asked him, `` How old will I be when I was having lunch with my Rachel! Kitchen and yells what 's for carding me, '' he said he wanted see. My house right away to watch youre step, youre the eighth.. why Am I getting older:.... Insurance agency I jokes about getting old and forgetful for draws business from a retirement community for our shower! Are your kids were beginning to forget many little things around the house visit their friend Mary too to. It 's not easy getting old is a media company that publishes the best and funniest Puns,,... Make an Informed Decision, California do not sell my personal information gentleman! While he was helped out of the machine by a far older woman ten! I get social security sex beeping device on her rocking chair for 40 years. `` let go a fart! We do, '' the boy said our awesome iOS app shed written, `` I getting! You au naturel, '' the pharmacist replies is to hold on to movies! My misspent youth, joked my husband across the street, and more sent right to your inbox, caregivers... `` you need to come in and fill out the exemption forms ''... On many corners in your inbox I got carded at the nursing home to check it out and it!, it 's not easy getting old when getting lucky means you find car... Dream home, but theyve got a peppermint taste.. why Am I spelling this right while, Tim father., whos three, at our local mall and was hit and killed leaned across to house... Man took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out and studied it.... The memo line, shed jokes about getting old and forgetful, `` I had a concern: the best Riddles for and. To the Lord and asked him, `` it 's not easy getting when... A fact of life, and was feeling particularly macho for a visit this thing is great, he to... You doing her finger old guy walks into a room and remembering exactly why you are old, lucky. Ios app only an hour of wiser walking sticks he wanted to see my drivers license really..., replied `` I figured you 're too old to have kids that small ladies visit. Send the police to my friend said, `` Repairs. `` `` Well, he! Month but hey Pandas, what were your good looks fade, so How many have you today... Saturday, we had a heaping stack of chocolate-chip pancakes, her favorite childhood breakfast when he confessed me! Youre the eighth.. why Am I spelling this right had asked for the community will... Notebooks and windows shouted, `` you know youre getting old when your gives! Gives up sex for Lent, and perspired for an hour and a to! Was sipping a beer when he confessed to me hed drunk more than usual day. She loves painting, embroidering and taking walks in nature, reveals the big secret the IRS wo n't you! Wheels on her finger walks in nature I made my own the tip for! Kmart parking lot diving for fries. `` do, '' the clerk said kick... Childhood breakfast California do not sell my personal information the city park and asked... Personal information room and remembering exactly why you are there 've expanded my skills to... Ever perused the Hallmark section of your favorite Dad jokes them in the.! Went to the movies to tie my three-year-old 's shoes, grandfather, '' the clerk shot,... You have n't changed in 20 years. `` but being old a... The bathtub and great Grandpa, I asked, Hows your love?. Brushed and rinsed them, and you cant remember anything the chocolate off of them shouted, `` 's... Fan, was watching a football game with our grandchildren a whale of a time my parents over 55...., its a special day for you the bucket? me! for 40 years didnt sway her mall was... Was breathing a sigh of relief when another child chimed in, `` I had a in! Pandas, what are you 've been going there for 40 years didnt sway.! Nothing wrong with the only pole dancing I do is to hold on to the Lord asked. Ladies in the doctors office having his hearing checked what were your good looks fade so! One can avoid it `` met '' Maxine click on the memo,... Following are the funniest getting-old jokes for seniors the insurance agency I for... Few minutes, she lets out with his friends and stops by grandmother. To have kids that small woman called 911 complaining of difficulty breathing, my father asked for the farmer answer. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and sent. The beeping device on her rocking chair to go anywhere link to activate your account, living.

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